Knee Deep Blog

Video Views Raise Money for Susan Komen Breast Cancer Research

Here's an easy way to help raise breast cancer research funds - simply watch a 4 minute video.  Aftrer watching I decided it's been quiet far too long on Knee Deep Blog.  Long enought that my mom can officially say she too is a breast cancer survivor.  Breast cancer has marked three generations of our family in a row.

136 former cheerleaders (some of them breast cancer survivors) got together to do a dance routine to benefit "Susan G. Komen for the Cure" (Breast Cancer). When they get 5 million views on the video, United Healthcare will make a $50,000 donation to the Komen organization. Their goal is to get 5 million hits, which will lead to $100K raised, but United Healthcare will donate ANOTHER $50,000 at 8 million views!

Please can you take a moment to watch the video - and, just as important, pass this link onto your network of friends, family and colleagues? It benefits a very important cause!

Thanks for helping!

www.KomenPhiladelphia.org/Video

What Is Your Belief About Cancer Reoccurrence? - 2 Year Update

The other night I had an intense dream about a conversation with a cancer psychologist; who probed my beliefs about cancer potentially reoccurring.

I have to admit that I woke up somewhat disturbed. What did I really believe about cancer and the possibility it would reoccur?

It's been a good two years since I finished 9 months of treatment. Each month brings more life post breast cancer. Yet every three months I go in for my quarterly check up filled with blood tests, my visit to the oncologist is often the same set of questions, review and physical check in. It's also generally filled with an hour plus wait in the oncology department where I see many, although I only really notice the women, in various stages of pretreatment, during treatment and post treatment. This keeps my own cancer memories fresh.

My heart is filled with compassion for those I can tell have been recently diagnosed. You can always tell because there is extra hand holding, nervous glances towards others, especially the bald heads, and sometimes consoling of one women by multiple others. They are just being exposed to the new language, the language of cancer, oncologists, treatment, chemo, radiation, support, education, etc.

The Untold Risks and Stats of Tamoxifen

Although I made my some what agonizing decision to stop taking Tamoxifen 3 months ago, a friend sent me this recorded message from Dr. Pam Popper regarding the stats and facts aka risks when you do take Tamoxifen to help prevent reoccurring of breast cancer.

Uninformed consent and fear are why we often take "miracle" drugs.  Sadly many of these drugs create other less beneficial side effects.  Based upon how I now feel I know it was the best decision.

Listen here:

Download PamPopperTamoxifen

I'm not suggesting that you do or don't take drugs prescribed by your oncologist, rather have the facts and make an informed decision that best supports you. 

I'm also recognizing that a reluctant activist is emerging.

Cancer 101.org A Resource I Wish I Had Found A Year Ago

I was just on Facebook and a friend from college had just noted he is a fan of Cancer101.org.  I became a fan too - which is the power of social networking.  I'm currently listening to their podcast - which is the 10 steps you need to know the first 24 hours when you've been diagnosed with breast cancer.  The site and products were created by Monica Knoll, a breast cancer survivor. 

So I'm poking around the site...because although it's been a year since diagnosis and I've completed the lion's share of treatment (as long as it remember to never come back) but still many more appointments and tests ahead of me.

In posting this, my hope is that some one that has breast cancer finds this post on Google, goes to Cancer 101 and finds what they need and most importantly feels better because of it.

Short post...which is so unlike me, but we're off to dinner.  Then I'll come back and check out volunteer options at Cancer101.

Post Chemo Hair Growth -Effortless Bed Head

I know it may sound bizarre to hear this, but this past week I have consistently waken up with real bead head and it feels delicious!  It's been 4.5 months since my last chemo treatment and only in the past month-ish has my post chemo hair growth really taken off.

For those of you that have been asking, according to my free handy habitat for humanity mini ruler that came in the mail I have exactly 3/4 of an inch of hair. And soon I will post more pictures.  Of course it doesn't quite seem that long because it's rather curly.

One of the things I liked since I stopped wearing my daily chemo scarves and hats is that I can get up, get dressed and look exactly the same as I did when I went to bed.  Heck if I put the same clothes on I could be playing a part in Bill Murray's movie Ground Hog Day.

Can It Really Have Been Longer Than 8 Months Since We Had A Date

Can it really have been since last year that Tim and I had a real date that lasted longer then two hours together that didn't include a breast cancer related trip or dialog! Unfortunately it really has been that long since Tim and I have had that kind of play time. It almost reminds me of post childbirth when your focus on on poop and sleep and your child-less friends remind you that there is more.

One's loss is our gain...I do mean that in a good way.  Barbara and her husband were whisked away to the Canadian San Juan's which left two tickets to Boz Scaggs at the Woodland Park Zoo on Wednesday.  Amazingly, as some would say, I picked up my phone at the right time and received a great gift.  More amazing is that Tim was available, the babysitter was available and for a bonus the sun was shining in Seattle.

7 Months Since I was Diagnosed with Breast Cancer

Last week after posting I realized the week marked seven months since I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It's interesting that it also marked the end of radiation, the slew of follow up appointments and a bunch of tests, which by the way I have no idea what the results are, and my oncologist was very lackadaisical about when I would know.

He thought that since I felt good results would be good.  That's nice. arghh.  And like any one else who's life is marked with cancer you really want to put that check in the box that states...you are clear. 

I was also amused at a comment by the same oncologist that stated he's be glad he wouldn't be seeing me so much in the future, only every 3 months once we review the results.  The amusement came because I've really hardly seen him.  My last appointment was prior to radiation, so it was two months ago.  And other then the literally 5 to 10 minute check in to review my pre-chemo blood results we've had no contact.  All my contact has been with nurses to "note" my chemo and post chemo reactions. 

34 Breast Radiation Sessions Complete - I'm Out Of There

Today is the final day. I've completed 34 radiations sessions and I'm out of there until tomorrow when a round of catch up and next steps appointments begin.  One appointment Thursday, three Friday and one next Tuesday, because a gal during cancer treatment can't seem to get enough hospital and doctor visits in.

Truthfully I feel both relieved and anxious to have this part of treatment completed.  I'll be glad not to have to drive to the hospital every day it definitely put a crimp in my lifestyle and attitude. 

A little over a week ago they changed my radiation protocol from 33 sessions to 26 and added an additional 8 sessions of the ABC radiation for a total of 34.  In simpler terms, ABC equals higher does on a smaller and more surface area in which I had my nose plugged and filled my lungs with air and had the air flow cut off during the radiation zaps.  Filling your lungs lifts your chest away from your heart and is suppose to provide protection.

Radiation: 20 of 33 Completed

Radiation has both been going amazingly fast with 20 sessions completed as of yesterday and agonizingly repetitive.  I continue to feel like I'm living in a world of deja vue each time I park in the eleven car radiation designated spaces and walk into the hospital doors.

Monday through Friday I have the same schedule.  Interestingly my good be on time behavior lasted for the first couple of weeks and on week three I've been a bit more lackadaisical and often late.  I keep thinking that yes, on a good day it takes 13 minutes to get to the parking lot once I'm in my car and therefore I don't need to give more then 20 minutes of commute time.  But, Seattle city traffic is often congested, not to mention all of the construction happening on Madison where Swedish Hospital is located. So my drive time is taking 13 to 35 minutes one way.

I've was complaining, actually, feeling rushed and anxious that I was now late AGAIN and recognizing that I am no longer the model breast cancer patient in treatment.  Oh, I've fallen off the wagon.  Then yesterday as I was scanning the cast of characters in the radiation waiting room I began a conversation with one that I've seen a few times and has the most gracious sense of being.

Breast Cancer Baldness and Emotional Connection

I just posted a new banner for this blog that includes some pictures of my big bald from two angles. Had you asked if I would do this back when my hair was first falling out I would have said, nope, don't think so.  I feel more comfortable hiding my chemo bald head under a hat or bandanna.

But, the but happened, I have gradually become more comfortable with my baldness and some times even feel and act bodacious (or would that be acting normal?) with my baldness both in private and in public.