It's taken just over six months for a spot to open at Roaring Mouse Creative Arts which is a local preschool and arts classes.
We first thought about sending Eli because one other preschooler on our block is currently going. We thought it would be a great way to initiate Eli into going somewhere without mom, dad or Grandma. The program is perfectly in alignment with his creative juices because you get to get messy and make things.
Unlike some/many other preschoolers he has had the luxury to going to Grandma's four days per week and playing with me one of his current favorite playmates on our special day - "Fridays." He is very happy and content to explore with people he knows and like many individuals he doesn't like to go to new places alone.
On our neighborhood block and at Grandma's senior residence he is very extrovert with people he knows young and old. He often invites himself to others houses to play, for dinner, downstairs to the common room to visit all the grandma's and grandpa's at my mom's senior living residence. Eli has razor sharp ears that pick up any sound of another child in which he says, "what's that noise....pause...it's my friends" as he runs to the door and yells the name of any of the 10 kids that live on our block.
He also frequently comes up with excuses for not coming inside such as, "I have to stay outside and play...then adding a dramatic pause with...BECAUSE...it's messy inside (my personal favorite) or because I see a slug and he needs my help. Yes, we do live in Seattle the slug capital of the United States.
Now back to why we wanted to have him ease into a "preschool" of some sort. Any time I want to do some thing alone for a short period that doesn't involve being with Eli often turns into drama. I also am not comfortable leaving him with neighbors as he's at the age where they may play well for 5 minutes or 30 minutes and the rest of the time involves "just in time strategy" to remove toys they both want or offer solutions. I hear myself constantly saying things such as you can have it for 1 minute and then Lia can have it for 1 minute, "since both of you want it what should we do?" or consoling a child that has just been "accidentally" bonked by the immediate offending toy. So play time involves work for all parties.
I do know that in another year I'll probably be more excited for play time with others when they can actually play for 30 plus minutes with out crocodile tears appearing from one of them. But right now what is at hand is his learning to go into new places and helping him find safety in doing so and having my breaks to do things such as yoga outside of my work hours. I find this to be a reasonable request to help maintain my sanity.
Eli's always been clingy. It really didn't seem to matter up until about a year ago when I began to feel smothered and in need of my own time and space. It also seems that it's when I feel I need it (time) most that he has a habit of circling my leg with his arms, tugging at my pants and acting like I'm going to abandon him, wanting me to pick him up and pay close attention to every thing he has to say and since he pretty much only stops speaking when he sleeps it is a lot. It's also about him wanting me to hold him at the oddest times, or simply turning any time mom leaves into a precursor for play that must happen now. All of this is about being at the center of his universe. Yes, having
a universe when you are almost three is important...and having some
balance in our family is at the center of mine. I've learned that when I am full and fulfilled I have a lot more to give.
I actually would sneak out the front door, hear him scream and Tim consoling Eli while I would sneak back in the downstairs door and run into my office and shut the door so I could have some personal time in the house. Unfortunately with Eli's razor sharp ears and amazing nose he just knew when I was back home.
So imagine at age 40 plus not being able to even read a section of the paper or have a coffee without going out to a local shop or hiding in your home office. I mean at this point why did we remodel and create the wonderful deck if I was constantly hiding in my own home? And who is in charge any way. Yeah, Eli was - it took a while to understand that nuance.
Any mention about going to school, playing at the gym of our local YMCA or playing with the toys at our local grocery store that offers 1 free hour of child care so I can shop without negotiating why we are positively not buying the Dora Fruit Roll ups for the 15th time in six minutes delivers an "outside voice" holler or sends Eli in frenzy to my leg yanking and pulling me to where he wants me to go. I've learned to focus on thinking first and speaking second as well as to offer him a choice of two simple consequences.
When he hears the words of you can walk or I will carry you or me asking him if he would like a time out, that it's serious business and to pay attention.
Often my eyes meet those of other parents that offer the eyes of condolence and that of knowing. They positively know that the beautiful child by their side has the potential to deliver the same action and reaction at any moment.
When we received the phone call that there was an opening on Thursdays for a two hour class we were ecstatic and immediately began talking it up. Tim and I shifted our work schedule so that we could be available the first few weeks just in case one of us needed to stay with him during the class. Because his need to hang on my leg we went with the strategy that Tim would be the first to take him to school.
On his first day of school I shifted my schedule to be available, just in case. We made his favorite breakfast of french toast and sang our "yummy in your tummy song." As the proud mom we got our video camera up to capture the moment for posterity. We recorded our call to Grandma Ellie. Eli cheerfully told her he was going to school and would draw a picture of a dinosaur. We did our normal kiss and hug, and he was off.
Tim was back within 15 minutes without Eli. So much for our kick butt strategy - yet I fully felt that if we hadn't planned we would have needed it. Grandma brought Eli back to the house to pick up his lunch a couple hours later.
I asked him how school was told it was "great" as I was presented with a beautiful glue laden collage which is featured above in the post. Unfortunately it ended up sticking to some papers on my desk that I needed to reprint. He also shared a story of making something, like this and then we did this as he moved his hands in the air in circles and back again to their starting position. Then we put it in the oven and yum it was delicious and he smacked his lips. So it appears that they baked some type of snack that he loved and wished for more.
School was and is a success. This past week we dressed Bruni the Monkey in red socks and a baseball shirt and showed up early so we could show his two teachers. I was then instructed by to take Bruni home. I smiled as I left the class and thought...now if it could only be this easy to attend yoga...and knowing that we are on our way to making it a reality.
Regards,
Michele Corey, Advanced Approach, Knee Deep: A dose of insight from your not always average home based entrepreneur
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